I was looking back at my journal this morning (July 21, 2025) and found some interesting writing and reflections. So, here we go! Words, phrases or sentences in italics are my current comments or reflections)
January 3, 2023
Wow! 2023! I will be 74 years old in 2 months. (Well, 76 now! Yet, I am enjoying my life now – living in the country side, serving part time two UMC rural churches, tending to my vegetable and flower garden, doing some pottery, being with Alessandra and more.) I look out at the early morning sky and wonder how is it that I am here! In this body with this mind and soul. How is it that there is no beginning. The universe has always been here! And I am a part of it. I am insignificantly significant in this creation. And is the creation founded on love? Is there a force of some kind that molded this beautiful existence, this universe? (These are questions I still wonder about. What is a beginning? Is there an ending? Middle? What about Evil- that is part of the package I think. Perhaps more on evil later. It is indeed here and has been with us throughout history. And there is Wonder and Awe. I believe we need to experience wonder and awe.)
I remember a camping trip with good friends (about 50 years ago now!) to a secluded place in the West Virginia Mountains. Wonderful feeling of companionship around a campfire at night in the forest. We ate some mushrooms. I went off just a few yards and sat down. Suddenly it seemed, everything disappeared. Everything. Darkness covered all, emptiness surrounded me! How that could be I do not know. But then I ‘heard’ a ‘voice’ or sensed a ‘feeling’ and thought that it is Love that holds everything together. And when Love goes away, all will cease to exist, even the Creator. Everything will be gone. There will only be darkness and emptiness. (I still remember that camping trip, the company of good friends and the vision I experienced. Everything disappeared. A void. I learned and grew.)
So, Love is the response!
I am very happy to be here with Alessandra and our home. (a beautiful 4 acre lot, mostly a forest in Culpeper, Virginia) The forest, the sky, the garden, the chickens (we have 4 chickens and usually get 3 eggs every day), the paths in the woods, the streams (Alessandra calls them rivers!)
I am grateful. Modeh Ani.
January 23, 2023
I need to learn who I am and what I need to say. (Amazing to be able to ponder that at age 76! I hope I never stop pondering that. I continue to grow, though there are times when I feel I am deflating!)
Music. Music sings to my soul, to my heart. There are some pieces (Beethoven’s 5th Piano concerto, the Prayer of St. Gregory by Alan Hovhaness among a few others including the Moody Blues, My mother had a wooden plaque that says Music is Life, that’s why our hearts have a beat! I have it in my office.) that capture my heart and take me to a place beyond myself. A place where I live. How can I be in that place all the time? I shall inquire in my mind and heart how that might be? How that might be possible and still live in this world.
March 29, 2023
I woke up with my legs tingling from the neuropathy. (Yes, for the past year or so I can feel my neuropathy becoming more prevalent, my left eye has vision challenges.) I went out onto the back deck (‘while it was still dark’) and said hello to the stars and the trees. All was still. I was quiet. I heard a movement in the forest and smiled and hoped and said hello.
Some mornings I wake up feeling sad, or hopeful, terrified and fortified with a force of love which I believed is out there and in here. But some days I am not so sure.
I woke up this morning knowing that my wife Alessandra is here with me, and that is a thrill and a wonder! (Most mornings I go out on our back deck while it is still dark. I often stretch, do a few calisthenics and say Modeh Ani with my arms raised – I am glad to be here. I am grateful.)
(But, there are days ..).I feel the world coming apart. I am aware that I trust only a few people. I am aware I trust no institution and that includes the Church. Though there are pockets of hope. Kindred Project (a collection of UM clergy, lay persons and others. A delightful time twice a week online), my Jewish friends with whom I worship and have gained many friendships, hope and trust. (MOSh – https://moshdc.org/) There are other pockets of hope scattered around the world. It is these pockets of sanity in an insane world that will hold things together for a return of sanity, a return of sanctification, a return to Life. It is like the Exile of the Jews from Jerusalem in the Ancient days. One day we will return.
There have been and are many men and women who are or have been my teachers and mentors. (Someone who helps enlighten me, encourages me to reach beyond myself, saves me from my fears and is transformational. The following are men and women, living and dead – of blessed memory – who inspire me, inspired me) The Buddha, Jesus, Mary Magdalene, Mohammed, (I am not familiar enough with The Prophet but he is the founder and leader and inspiration behind one of the largest religious movements in our world. I need to learn more. ), Lau Tzu, Thich Nhat Hanh, Albert Schweitzer, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Teresa of Avila, John of the Cross, Shalem, Confucius, Rabbi Zalman Schachter Shalomi, Beethoven, Bach, Vivaldi, Evelyn Underhill, Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel, and all those who preach and practice harmony such as the Benedictine Sisters of Virginia, Pope Francis, David Canada, Rabbi Mark Novak, John Wesley. (add Bishop Spong, Howard Thurman, Richard Rohr, the Baal Shem Tov, Rumi, Beth Tippett, Arnie Freiman, John Philip Newell. And I am happy to say that the list is long in my heart and mind. And Yes, I am aware these are mostly men. I could use some help here.)
Based on my own research into other religions it seems to me that at the core of each one there is kindness, the vital importance of a Divine or Holy presence in our lives and an invitation to fellowship, friendship. We must have open minds and hearts otherwise we will get stuck with just a few verses in some holy book that focuses on dysfunction and injustice, and hatred.
There are likely (and hopefully!) many, many more who live or lived with the dignity and heart of a Child of God (my father, my grandfathers and grandmother Nelson, my mother). In many ways we are blessed and on other days all I see are those who are cursed with anger, blame others, have egos that are clouding their hearts and minds. Those who see violence as the way have for some reason filled their hearts and minds with a darkness that is filled with hatred. We are battered by those who speak loudly with hatred in their hearts. Where are the ones who speak from the Heart of God? We are silent or nearly silent in part because quietness is just that, quiet, heartfelt, warm, prayerful, welcoming, compassionate, loving, tree and flower lovers, joyful and hopeful.
We strive to believe and practice conversation and dialogue, in the divinity, sacredness of all Life. We are aware of the Beauty of Creation. We are aware that somehow Life is intended to be lived in harmony with all the Creation. I am aware of the sacred nature of tress, flowers, butterflies, the night time moon and more.
I think this may be enough for now. Just some thoughts, reflections, and photos to convey my heart to any who might visit the site. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Please leave a comment and/or get in touch with me.
(Painting of birds flying through the storm is by my wife Alessandra Cortese de Bosis. https://alessandracortesedebosis.com/) All photos are mine.
Hearing the Divine 